By Sean Orleans
I am a man aggrieved. Two weeks ago, the Riverfront Times published its “Best of” list for 2013 and I am stunned—STUNNED, I tell you—that Sean Orleans and the MMWA were shut out across the board this year.
I had to scroll through all the categories not twice but thrice to make certain: Best Cheap Thrill, Best All Ages Venue, Best Place to People Watch, Best Sports Broadcast Personality, and Best Sports Bargain.
The brain trust at Riverfront Times apparently thinks the St. Louis Rams are a better bargain than the MMWA at South Broadway Athletic Club. You’re telling me an $8 adult ticket and $4 child ticket for three hours of wrestling is not up to par with an atrocious football team that can’t even give tickets away? Pish-posh, I say!
How is the South Broadway Athletic Club not the best place for people watching in the St. Louis metro area? Good Lord, man, all walks of life are showing up month in and month out. I’ve said it before on commentary and I’ll say it again here: it smells like Red Bull and teen pregnancy. Now you tell me that that’s not a tremendous selling point…
Some of the guys have even confessed their dissatisfaction with the lack of a ‘Best Wrestler’ category. The Midwest is a bastion for pro wrestling and St. Louis remains the Mecca. Surely, the fine folks at RFT are not so obtuse as to ignore such talent still putting on top-notch events? This has got to be an oversight…
But most galling is the lack of respect shown my way in the ‘Best Sports Broadcast Personality’ category. To borrow a phrase, “I’m the straw that stirs the drink” on the MMWA television program. Oh sure, Tim Miller and Ben Simon are nice enough guys and do a job best described as “fair to moderate,” but I’m raising the bar, people. I’m educating the plebeians with my glut of wrestling acumen, and I’m losing out to Darren Pang? A pox on your house, Riverfront Times! A pox on your house!